Tag Archives: Humour

The Advanced Gym Goers Lifeycle

Isn’t it funny how the life cycle goes:

You’re unfit
You go gym and have an induction. You spend a couple of weeks pretending to know what to do on the machines. You even think your getting fitter.

You learn what to do in the gym
You pick up a copy of men’s health and use the workouts in there. Hey, it works!!

You want to bulk up
Enough of that men’s health stuff – you want to get MASSIVE. So you eat every bit of meat and protein you can find – because protein = muscle right? You might even take a weight gain supplement. Weight gain 4000 anyone? (Beefcake)

You realise you are fat and bulky
Those beach body photos didn’t work out, yes you have huge ‘guns’ but unfortunately 8 months worth of protein took its toll. Mostly on your stomach.

You do a cut
Running those 5k’s is hard with the extra 12lbs of ‘bulk’ you collected. Time to keep the muscle and get trim.

You feel small so you bulk up
You get nervous and lose focus on the trim goal. Oops.

You get chubby again
See ‘you want to bulk up’ above.

You realise that being lean is actually what you want
You wanna have a physique your happy with, you don’t want to be a body builder but want low maintenance fitness and to feel better everyday.

You’re lean, you wanna stay lean and improve you life/job etc get more time
Welcome to nirvana, your journey is complete. It’s time to eat well, be better at sports and have a balanced life. Time to be a CogitoAthlete.

Why not skip a few steps in the cycle and make life easier?

(Story above may or may not be based on a true story *cough*me*cough*)

Chris